Hey, everyone. This is RJ at the helm for today’s post. The cats are convinced I am dead, and they are comforting my husband, who is obviously bereft without me being there every single minute of the day. (So much feline drama…)
This is a love letter (perhaps of the unrequited type) to World Fantasy Con, and if you’re a reader hoping to attend, or perhaps a self-publishing author hoping to attend, you may want to keep reading. Or not.
Dear World Fantasy Con,
It is 4:45 PM. The Awards Banquet is over, everyone is packing up to go home, and general exhaustion kicked in sometime on Friday. (It is now Sunday. I have progressed far beyond general exhaustion and straight to bordering oblivion.)
I fly back home tomorrow in the early afternoon.
I came to World Fantasy expecting a few things. I expected to have a great time with my buddy Diana Pharaoh Francis. (She’s the best roommate. Evers.) She successfully used peckersnot in a sentence. Much laughter was had.
My time with her more than exceeded my hopes and expectations.
Everything else was up in the air. Truth be told, I’d set a very, very low bar.
You see, I’m a self-publishing author. Independent, if you will. (When we want to be fancy about it.) I’m a lot of things most attendees are not.
I don’t have a publishing house to help me make my way through the murky waters of publication. I don’t have the connections so many at World Fantasy have. I don’t have a whole lot except a rather insane drive to write books, release them into the world, and make a living writing.
Truth be told, World Fantasy Con has never really been all that inclusive to the true self-publisher, the one who slid on by the gatekeepers of the industry. I came fully aware of that. I also came well aware of my growing success as a fiction author. Yet still I expected to be on the outside looking in. One day, I hope that will change.
In many ways, those expectations were met. I am, still, on the outside looking in.
But I learned something this weekend. The last time I attended, I attended hoping to learn a lot from how the traditional publishers run their ships, hoping I could somehow use this knowledge to create success.
I learned how to enter the traditional market as an author, pitfalls to look out for, and a lot of things along that vein, but very little about how to actually find any sort of success. I suppose that’s a carefully guarded secret.
This time, I looked at it through new eyes.
There weren’t many authors there who were making a living and paying their rent doing the writing thing. Obviously, the headliners were. But, people I thought should be making a living… simply weren’t.
I was shocked.
Here I am, a self-publisher, who did get a lot of odd looks, some unhappy looks, and generally… weird looks… from many of those around. I was honest and up front about my status. I hid nothing. I’d even tell my earnings for the past two years. Those numbers were met with shock. (I was shocked, too. Everyone was. These are traditionally published people… with good names in the industry. Why weren’t they earning as much or more than I am?!)
People I thought should have had USA Today with their publisher… didn’t. I was shocked. (There’s a lot of shock in this post. And for me throughout this entire convention.) I ran into someone I greatly respect during the convention. It was lovely catching up to him. We talked. We remembered BookCountry, where we’d both worked together critiquing projects. I went to his reading. There were few there. More should have been there. His books are so entertaining.
He’s so talented.
But he wasn’t where I really, really believe he should be. Few people were.
It really, really occurred to me that, somewhere along the way, I’d forgotten I was truly accomplishing something rare.
I earn my keep writing. I make ends meet writing. I put food on the table writing. I pay my rent through writing. I have a career writing.
I don’t have a day job. I don’t want a day job. (I have the day job I want. It is through writing.)
Attending World Fantasy Con taught me a very important lesson.
I am always so focused on my next goal, on trying to better my writing, my career, and ultimately myself, that I don’t reflect that I am successful. Hell, it never even fucking occurred to me just how insane what I’ve accomplished actually is. I spent all last night basically cussing internally, along with some internal screaming, that it’d kinda just gone right over my head for so damned long.
I never feel like I’m good enough. I never feel like I’m doing enough. I never feel like I’m bringing my a-game to the table. I never feel like I’m successful.
But I am.
I’ve accomplished so damned much, and I do need to sit down and reflect on that.
World Fantasy Con reminded me of that–and it reminded me of how damned lucky I am.
I came to realize that I’d somehow slipped right on by so many of my personal dreams without acknowledging I’d truly reached them.
I earn my keep writing. I make ends meet writing. I put food on the table writing. I pay my rent through writing. I have a career writing.
That’s something special. Don’t get me wrong. I am so damned grateful for that. I really am.
I love my job. I love to write.
But I spent so much time at World Fantasy Con feeling like an unsuccessful outsider because it was all about how to do things traditionally. Even the small press vs large press vs. self-publishing panel, which was really damned good overall, tended to focus more on the small and large presses. I think everyone on the panel was hybrid… but a lot of the questions and prompts took a focus on the traditional markets.
Which is to be expected at this venue.
Hybrid publishing (where the author is both traditional and self-published) is picking up steam… but self-publishing only still, in some ways, seems to remain a big black mark.
Outside of a few people, mostly authors and a sole agent… I just couldn’t quite seem to bridge the gap between ‘me, a self-publisher’ and ‘them, the traditional folks.’ Mostly the industry professionals, not the authors.
The authors were far more welcoming and accepting of me than I expected. That made me happy. Many hugs were given and received.
I have nothing useful for the traditional folks, I suppose. I just couldn’t figure out how to fit into their world.
But that could be simply because I don’t fit into their world.
Just about everyone present was traditionally published or somehow involved in the traditional publication world, whereas I am not.
But, I’m still glad I went, because I learned so much about just how far I’ve come. I didn’t really learn much of the industry; I’ve been self-publishing for so long that I came away with a few reaffirmations of things I already knew.
I’ll still dream of traditional publication, but for now, I walk away from World Fantasy Con with an integral understanding I am doing a hell of a lot right.
And that it’s okay being happy where I’m at now. Will I try to do even better? Hell yeah! But I’m going to try to remember that I’ve done a hell of a good job.
That’ll be tough.
Thanks, World Fantasy Con.
We probably won’t meet again, at least not anytime soon. At least not until you stop brushing the rest of the industry under the rug.
Self-publishers exist. We’re grabbing the bulls by the horns. We’re in this for the long haul.
You can welcome us, or you can continue to focus on life without us… but we’re here to stay.
And I think you’re starting to get the idea on how to be more inclusive in the choices of some of your panels this year. But you’re not there yet. Maybe you’ll never get there, not when it somehow feels you’re still afraid of the changes we’re bringing to the industry.
And yes, we’re changing the industry. We have to. We want to succeed, too. We love books, too. That’s why we’re here.
Maybe one day that change will come. And if you get there, I’ll swing on over to say hello. Until then, good luck and take care.
With love, albeit unrequited,
~RJ, who feels rather like a unicorn.
Successful self-publishers threaten the traditional publishing industry that wants to control the market, set the prices, and make money. Especially the “make a lot of money.” Traditional publishing pays authors a pittance in royalties, and only issues checks twice a year (most of them). Besides those, like you, who have started their careers on their own, there are a significant number of good authors (Barry Eisners, Holly Lisle come to mind) who have reclaimed their backlists and are going forward on their own).
In actuality, unless someone is writing for Harlequin, there are few traditional authors who turn out more than one to two books a year.
You have accomplished a lot, be proud. Ignore the industry snobs for you don’t want to work for the starvation wages they would pay. And you would still have to be your own marketer.
What she said. You are unique. Your success is unique. It’s too easy to underestimate your own work when you work for yourself.
Most of us already know you are amazing! You are not only RJ Blain with the hysterical body count books, but 5 or 6 or more OTHER AUTHORS with successful story lines, all differenr. You also share the basics and technical stuff to do with authoring. Generous heart and soul. I wish you all the success you so richly deserve. Thanks for sharing.
I, and many others, think everything you’ve accomplished is amazing! I was the odd one out in my career field for years. It took me awhile to believe I was as skilled as a lot of my peers – and just as (and sometimes more) successful. I hope you never doubt that your reader’s adoration is a very real sign of how successful and how good you are as a writer!
Doing things differently or being different always threatens the status quo… and there are few things more satisfying than being able to them the finger! Keep doing you – we love you for it!
I am so thrilled for the realization that you discovered at World Fantasy Con about being a successful self-published writer.
I love your books that I have read so far, and I plan to buy many more as I can do so. I’ve even suggested your books to my friends to read. Keep up the fantastic work.
Also, I love the felines and their snarky comments. I’m owned by three, so I know how it can be.
Congratulations on your realizing your success! I love that you have the ability to write what you want to write, rather than pitching a story and having someone in your publishing company tell you that it won’t sell. … This is a pet peeve for me, because I’ve seen good series and great creative ideas dropped because the publishers did not approve.
Hey gal! I loved meeting you and wish we’d had more of a chance to hang out and chat. Maybe at another con – will you be at RWA Nationals?
This was my first World Fantasy Convention, and I know exactly what you’re talking about. As successful, USA Today bestselling authors making our livings by writing, it’s weird to get the brushoff from people who have landed a fancy agent and have their first book on submission, or got a novella published at Tor.com, but are still chained to their day jobs.
I was also shocked that one of my very very favorite authors in the world has to work full time. That’s criminal, in my opinion.
I would have loved to have infused more self-pub info into the panels I was on, but the vibe was really slanted toward the traditional path, and as a first-timer, I didn’t have a good sense of how far I could go down that road. That said, there were several folks each time that came up to me with questions afterward, so I think there was more interest in self publishing than was maybe apparent on the surface.
Thanks for the musings, and yes, give yourself a HUGE pat on the back for everything you’ve done!
Hugs~
Anthea
I love all your books. I can’t get enough. Your worlds make a difference in other’s bleak life. Thank you for staying strong and keep writing. You are much loved by people you do not know. I have even got my daughter hooked on you.
Much love and appreciation to you. A beloved fan.
I love your work. I have been reading science fiction/fantasy and romance since I was 12.(that’s 63 years) I look forward to all your new books. Your characters are exciting and fun and each book can stand on it’s own; but us better read with the previous books. Also I love the happily ever after. Life is what it is, but the ability to put joy and fun into it is a wonderful gift. Please keep going knowing that you are really appreciated. Thank you.
Loved this. Needed this. And I am hoping to learn more from you next week. If possible, I will fangirl and meet you to say hello and tell you how often I read and re-read your books! I am so glad you are writing.
Hi,
I think you’re a talented, amazing, sparkly unicorn. I love books you write.
Merrily
Since I have found you as an author I love your books. I have purchased every one I can get my hands on. You are doing a great job. I’m picky about who I read. Please don’t ever do cliff hangers unless written well as I and I’ll bet many dislike that. An author I’ve read has been leaving really bad ones. The kind that make you think it was written that way just to get you to buy the next book. Happened a few times and I no longer read her. When I worked and wasn’t retired I spent $150. a week on books. So I’m loyal to my authors. I had an arrangement with some clerks at a book store no longer open near me. They had a box underneath the counter with all my fave authors and some who they thought I’d like. Usually they were right and I’d get a new loved author. You are one of my favorite authors and would be in that box when each of your books would be released. So my long winded point You are good enough to catch me as a reader. I don’t have the money to spend like I used to. And I have to use an e-reader as I can’t hold my books because my arthritis is bad. But I buy your books I pre-order your books and I’ve not been dissatisfied. So if this lifts your spirits good for me as a happy author is a good one and I love your work. I come from a family of readers. The kind that would rather read than do just about anything else. I’m going to be 71 in December and I will read what you write till the day I no longer can. You are that good. Keep on striving, don’t give up, think of it as the good old boys club. You will get your wishes for you are that good. ?
Since I discovered your books, I think the first one I got was null and void, or was it hoofin it, doesn’t matter. I snatched up everything I could find. I’ll be blunt. You write great books. I’m glad you are an indie, because you don’t have to cut your story down to please some executive. So the price goes up a little for a lot more. I Will be snatching up and telling my friends to grab them all. You keep being you, which is great.
Love your books. I am absolutely glad I am helping you earn a living by buying your books. Please write books. DON’T make yourself sick. Stop, pet the cat overlords, snuggle the partner. Enjoy the life you are successful in.
? Fantastic at what you do. I am so glad you are recognizing your own success, and that you are making a living doing what you love and dreamed to do ??
Next year maybe you should be on the traditional vs small vs self panel. You’re making a living writing! That’s SO COOL!
I probably won’t be attending World Fantasy Convention in the future unless they specifically approach me for attending. Sad, since it could be interesting to go, but I’ve learned a lot–and the atmosphere just isn’t really friendly towards the self-publishing professional.