March 30, 2020: Has it really been two weeks already? Life, The Universe, and Everything… plus some books.

Dear humans,

This is an accurate representation of the Blain Household at current. The female would be the one sitting on the male, and yes, I still do sit on Princess as I see fit. If I fits, I sits!

There is so much of Princess for me to sit upon.

It is difficult to comprehend that the humans have been home for two weeks with very little respite.

The female is sick with something. She woke up early not feeling well, and no amount of coffee (that she shouldn’t be having) can save her at this point. There is a nap in her future. She will enjoy writing fun things between napping sessions.

It is probably not COVID, unless COVID has suddenly manifested every head cold and sinus infection symptom known on Earth, induced by the evil trees having sex in various backyards near her domicile.

And if it is the plague, well, the humans are already sheltering-in-place and will do their best to prevent infecting others. (Which is the entire point of this exercise.)

In the month of March, she has written 110,000 words. This makes her exceptionally proud. She is aiming for 125,000 words in April.These challenges are keeping her sane.

Today will be a multiple book review day. We are going to have fun with this. We will review another’s book, and then we will make fun of one of the female’s books. We have extra time today to screw around with you humans because the female’s ears are making the blubblub sinus drain noises and are not happy.

So, onto the books:

Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy isn’t for everyone. It consists of dry British humor–humor the female gobbles up. She held a signed first edition once. It was only several thousand dollars. The male told her know. The book’s owner let her pet it and sigh over its wondrousness.

She still wants that book.

In other news, she cannot read the word petunia now without cracking a grin. If you’re into dry British humor, you should read it.

Then you might recognize a certain influence on the female.

As always, check the sample before you buy.

Now, it is time to make fun of the female for a while. To start with, we’re going to pick on Karma. If you take wolves, add a fox, make the main character utterly mentally unstable but very good at pretending she might be stable, you get Karma. Like the main character, unreliable by her very definition and nature, the book is a feral beast. It’s all about the action, the excitement, and a hot sexy man beast packaged as her partner. No actual sex on the page, as usual. The female doesn’t write that sort of book.

It contains a lot of hints and foreshadowing about Karma’s lack of stability in the next installment, License to Kill, which will be coming out in December.

If you like the following, you might enjoy the book:

• Stuff

If you don’t like the following, you might not enjoy the book:

• Stuff that’s not stuff.

Okay, look, I’m a cat and I have to make this shit up as I go.

License to Kill is feral, it has bitten, it will bite again, and I swear, if it makes the female cry one more time, I am going to defenestrate the entire damned thing and put it in time out.

Stop the crying! Or preorder the book to make the crying worth the while.

P.S.: It’s a Witch & Wolf story. It is not sunshine and cookies. There are moments of hilarity, but if you’re looking for a Mag Rom Com, this ain’t it. (We recommend you preorder Dirty Deeds instead, as that IS a Mag Rom Com, and she absolutely loves the plot line she’s put together for it.)

She even found a way to make the Dirty Deeds version mostly just be part one with very little modification required to extend it. She spent a disgusting chunk of the weekend revamping her plot line for this purpose. Rather than paying attention to Princess or me.

Good job, female! Not.

Wench.

For the second book recommendation for the day, we’re going to skip over to something a little (okay, a lot) different.

Ivanhoe.

That’s right. Ivanhoe. The classic. She just loves everything about this classic, and can be found reading it from time to time. Her’s is a little cloth bound version in red. Its days are sadly numbered.

She’s read many classics over the years, but this is one of the only ones she general revisits beyond Shakespeare, of which she has and has read the entire complete collection.

Right along with Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s Complete Sherlock collection.

Crap. That’s like three book recommendations in one fell swoop. We’re not sorry. As always, mileage varies. Just because the female likes these does not mean you will. I mean… we’re talking about classics here.

But if she had to pick classics, these are the three she would pick to inflict upon others.

Am I done yet? What? No?

Crap.

Uhm… let’s see…

I’m going to just pick on Playing with Fire since it’s on sale for $0.99 still. I mean, low-lying fruit and all that.

What do you get when you mix insomnia, a friend needing a laugh, and a love of unicorns? Bailey Gardener! What do you get when you add some gasoline and some highly magical components? Bailey Gardener on a napalm bender!

What do you get when you add Bailey Gardener on a napalm bender and skyscrapers?

A restraining order and massive property damage.

Okay, I’m done now. I’m going to see myself out.

Have a good day, stay healthy, stay safe. Stay home, too. Take a nap. Taking naps is the best, and I try to do it all the time.

Until tomorrow!