Upcoming Books

Dear humans,

We have been asked about upcoming books. While we posted about this in the State of the Blain post in February, we are posting again. We’re in a mood, so please expect plenty of snark. And frankly, we get rude at one stage. We’re really not sorry for being blunt to the point of rudeness, but we really do not want any misunderstandings on this.

So, here we go.

Silent Stalker releases March 17, 2022.

Plaidypus releases May 17, 2022. (*Correction: We put 15. We don’t know why. It is actually the 17th.)

Dirty Deeds 2 releases June 7, 2022.

(Sorry for the lack of links, humans. They’re available at all major ebook retailers.)

Now, as the female is Really Tired of addressing messages of people begging for more clues or to be just told (ugh, we’re sorry, but ugh…) this is how this is going to work.

Nobody, and we mean literally nobody, is welcome to slide into the female’s private messages or comments to ask about the Sekrit Projekt. (If the female wishes to discuss it with you, she will come knocking on your door. Don’t expect any knocking unless you are her editor, very close friend, or her cover artist.)

If you want current news, join patreon on the lowest tier. Patreon will have updates on it, but the same rules apply.

They are as follows:

Thou shalt leave the female alone about the Sekrit Projekt.

Thou shalt trashcan any complaints regarding the sekrit projekt. (The female will not be reading the reviews. At most, she will have Jenny cherry pick compliments to show her at some stage in the future.)

So, if you hate something, you’ll only be working to turn readers off on the series. The female will not be reading or checking or caring about your complaints.

She wants to write for people who are looking for the next book to love, not for those who can’t seem to get through a day without getting upset over books.

Readers fucked her over regarding the Royal States books with their toxicity, and the Sekrit Projekt will not be likewise ruined. We understand it isn’t every body, but there were enough people doing it that once you hear the same bitching over, and over, and over… it isn’t welcome. It’s just not.

If you don’t like those types of stories, stop reading them and go read a book you will like.

The female no longer has any desire to try to cater to people who simply will not or does not like her books.

As such, steps are being taken.

In a nutshell, there is a very strict boundary in place. She is not welcoming communication or questions regarding the Sekrit Projekt.

As the female is not the bitch of any reader (especially not for the price of $5.99 for a book), the rules of engagement are as follows:

If you, the reader, likes the idea of the Sekrit Projekt, thou shalt offer forth a payment of $5.99 at the vendor of your choice upon locating the Sekrit Projekt. (Good luck, humans!)

If the female, the author, is pleased with the writing and has a good time, and receives sufficient payment to continue investing in the Sekrit Projekt, she will continue to publish them. She will be writing them regardless, but publication is a different story altogether. (And no, she really is NOT under any obligation to publish anything, especially if it makes her miserable. She knows this. She LIKES telling stories and making people who read her books happy, which is why she continues to muddle through to the best of her ability.)

Seriously, she wants to continue writing… but she is done with the pressure and the problematic elements of publication.

The author to reader contract is simple, so let’s start with that.

If you, the reader, continues to wish to partake of the Sekrit Projekt, thou shalt offer forth a payment of $5.99 at the vendor of your choice…

Over and over, for as long as everyone is pleased with the author to reader contract. All parties may choose to sever the contract at any time.

You, the reader, are never obligated to leave a review. It isn’t in the author to reader contract. The contract only consists of the author writing and publishing the book and the reader paying the author the asked price for the book.

Seriously, nowhere in the author to reader contract states you even need to READ the book…

Positive (especially 5*) reviews are an active way to communicate to readers they should buy the book… and it sends a nod to the author that their hard work is appreciated and that you want more.

Reviews tell other readers that others like the book and why they should buy it or why they think other readers should NOT buy the book.

This is where things become a little sad. Reviews are not a method of communication with the author. (That said, many authors absolutely will go look at the positive reviews to see that people are happy. The female uses review numbers (and the overall rating) of a book to determine if she can realistically take the fiscal risk to continue publishing the books.)

For example, The Vigilante Magical Librarians world series will likely die with the final book in the series; there are enough people who simply didn’t adore it that it’s worth the up-front investment. Maybe that’ll change later as the series goes? But Booked for Murder has a 4.2* rating over 1,800 reviews, which says there are a lot of people who just weren’t in love with it. The second book is better at 4.5 with 700-ish reviews, but the female generally views books with 4.6+ as the ones she should be focusing on, and that people just don’t enjoy the other books as much.

In comparison, the Magical Romantic Comedy series (the past five books) all have 4.6* or greater ratings. This is the signal that people really just want more of the books. The Fox Witch series has been prioritized as it has 4.7 and 4.6 ratings, and is generally well received by readers. (Death’s Door will be worked on as a play project around the scheduled ‘catch up’ books being worked on, including Requiem, etc.)

And yes… that matters. It really matters. The ratings really do tend to predict how people will buy future books.

If you want to send a love letter to an author, go leave 5* reviews on their books. That says “I loved this book!” All you have to do is write, “I loved this book because (any fucking reason you want.)” That’s it. Liked Bailey’s napalm bender in Playing with Fire? “I loved this book because there was a fire-breathing unicorn who went on a napalm bender. Fun!”

Reviews are THAT simple. (Really! It is!)

And authors love little reviews like that. They matter.

In the female’s case, she will have her PA go to new releases and cherry pick purely positive reviews like that, just so she can get those little love letters from readers now and then. (Anything negative will be excluded.)

Simply put, the female has anxiety and no longer has the will or desire to see people yucking on her yum. The days of checking reviews are over. Too many people yuck on her yum.

There’s nothing in the author to reader contract stating the author has to deal with negativity from readers. That includes in reviews.

Authors only owe you the book they wrote. Nothing more, nothing less. Authors aren’t the bitches of readers. They aren’t literary slaves. They’re people.

Positive reviews are appreciated, although after the incident with Runaway, it’s unlikely the female will be directly reading many of them.(We’re sorry in advance for the extra work, Jenny…) But know this: by leaving those positive reviews that suggest other readers should read the book, you’re helping the female continue writing books. You’re directly helping her.

That’s truly appreciated. It’s a gesture of support that might help convince someone else to engage in the author to reader contract.

The negative reviews? Well, you’re telling people not to buy the books. That hurts the author directly, and that sucks… but nothing in the author to reader contract says you can’t.

If you hated the book, you hated the book.

But, psychologically, more people are willing to speak up when they’re unhappy rather than praise when they’re happy. It’s human nature.

It doesn’t make life any easier on authors, but it is what it is.

The female is just joining the ranks of authors who won’t be partaking of that part of her career.

The book has been written.

It isn’t being changed to appeased someone who didn’t find it to their taste.

Future books will not be changed to appease those who didn’t like the book.

Now that we’re done being rude, we hope you all have a wonderful night.

And remember, folks. Please do not bother the female regarding the Sekrit Projekt, okay? All she’s going to do is deny, deny, deny.

(Imagine we are blowing kitty kissies your way.)

P.S.: We’re spoiled rotten thieves who enjoy stealing things from the female. (We’re also so adorable we will get away with our theft.)