This post is just a random collection of my unpopular opinions. Take or leave as you like, and if you become offended, that is a you problem and not a me problem. (AKA, unpopular opinion number one….)
1: If you are offended by something someone else does, that is a you problem and not a them problem.
Nobody owes you jack shit, including making you happy all the time. This includes when someone is offensive. (Spoiler alert: being offensive is a subjective issue.)
One of the hardest things in life to do is accept when something is a you problem and not a them problem.
They offended you. So what?
It’s a you problem. Keep it that way.
Nobody is saying you have to like what the person said or did. Everyone pays consequences for their actions. Sometimes, that consequence is you, who has the problem with them, leaving the situation and the relationship.
2: You aren’t going to change anybody. You aren’t going to stop racists from being racist. You’re not going to stop sexists from being sexist. You’re not going to stop people from liking things they like just because you disapprove.
Once again, this is a you problem.
3: It’s okay to share your opinion. It’s not okay to force others to agree with your opinion.
Once again, that’s a you problem that shouldn’t be a them problem.
4: Your triggers are your responsibility. Nobody owes you anything when it comes to your triggers.
Authors do not owe you warning labels.
Reviewers are under no obligation to warn you of triggers.
Your triggers are your responsibility.
It is a YOU problem. You need to learn to deal with your triggers. If you see it in a book? The correct response is to close the book and walk away. No, not return the book for refund. Your triggers are YOUR responsibility, and you should not be punishing overs over your triggers.
Nobody owes you anything when it comes to your triggers. They are your responsibility to treat and manage.
(So, please stop asking authors to put trigger warnings on everything. This is not their responsibility. Check the reviews. If you find a trigger and you didn’t see it in the reviews, you are more than welcome to review the book and air out your dirty laundry… but NOBODY owes you anything regarding your triggers. This is a YOU problem.)
5: Happy holidays is a perfectly good and inclusive way to wish someone well. Take the so-called “war on Christmas” home… that is a YOU problem, and not everyone believes in your religion. Like politics, religion best belongs in your bedroom. It is not welcome in the bedroom of others.
“Seasons greetings!” is also fabulous. So is just a “Hello.”
Nobody cares about your “war on Christmas.” Seriously. There are a lot more people who celebrate other shit out there, and Christmas is just one of many. I recommend getting over that.
So, happy holidays, everyone! (And if this offends you… it is definitely a you problem and not a me problem.)
6: I am an asshole. (Seriously, I am. I’m just an asshole who often makes the decision to roll around in glitter, sugar, and sprinkles before interacting with other humans.)
7: My cats are the BEST cats.
8: I have an unhealthy relationship with one-click shopping.
9: I am quitting coffee outside once a week. Send help.
Happy holidays!
Love number 6!! That gave me many giggles! And agree with everything!
Hahah not that you are an asshole ! 😁Submitted and forgot to add don’t think you are one you just say things the way you see them- some people don’t like that. Whatever to them!
I’m absolutely fine with everything you say EXCEPT for number 7: MY cats are the BEST cats. (I will, however, agree that there might be just a smidge of subjectivity in that statement…)
🤣🤣🤣 I soooo agree with this. I love your emails. I never know what’s going to be in them. 😁
Could be glitter, sugar, and spice and everything nice… or rabid raccoons.
If I say anything during this season, I choose to say “Merry Christmas” because that is what I am comfortable with. They do not have the right to tell me how to express good wishes. If that offends someone, that’s a them problem, not a me problem.
You can say what you what, I don’t gaf. Just don’t get pissed at me for saying whatever I want. (That’s the point of this story.) Nobody is saying you can’t say Merry Christmas, dude.
We are saying you can’t force US to say Merry Christmas.
In my opinion (And, yes, it’s my opinion, and my rule about opinions apply to my opinion as well), opinions are like rear ends. Everyone has one, and they are usually stuffed full of “Sh…………………………aving cream. Feel nice and clean. Shave every morning and you’ll know what I mean….” And, generally, the “opinion” does not smell like roses…..
Doctor Dementors rides again!
Arg! Autocorrect must die! Doctor DEMENTO, if you please…
I love this email! I wish I were more like you. This was so brave. (in my opinion. I have a difficult time not worrying what others think. – it’s a me thing.)
Works for me! Good luck with #9 😳
… and I have no problem with number 7, either. My cat is a punk, who likes to beat up big dogs. She’s also not fond of other cats and raccoons, although she’s only allowed to cuss at them through a window.
And there is a reason i love the Fuk it Fifties i love your email, but i could not get behind the giving up coffee, i would end up in jail.
I ain’t even fifty yet! Hah!
Fuck it Forties applies.
You said it!! I agree with it.
One thing about the trigger warnings, other than how much I hate them, is that I see them everywhere. Why?! It spoils the surprises inside each book. I was on a website (one of those ‘Here’s a list of 40 free books!’) and while I liked that each book had a short blurb listed, it also listed all triggers. Complete headdesk. I’ll give it one reluctant kudo in that I was able to avoid a few books I wouldn’t have enjoyed, but that’s IT!!
I blame Archive of Our Own (aka AO3) for the trigger warnings. That site _thrives_ on trigger warnings. It’s one reason why I don’t go on there. The main reason is that it’s sort of a more “grown up” version of Wattpad, and the amount of vulgar stories (term used loosely) on there is abysmal.
There’s an easy loophole in #9 though. If you’re giving up coffee “outside once a week” going out for coffee two or more times a week still fits the requirement. Just trying to help.
I do believe that two of my cats are the best cats, but I’ll admit that I’m biased. The other two cats are actually assholes though. Maybe all the good cats can be tied for “best cats” and the rest are just the catholes that we still love?
I now use Happy Holidays because I don’t know if the person I am speaking to is celebrating Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Diwali, Eid, or the Winter Solstice. But if you offer me a Merry Christmas I will happily respond. Joyeux Noel
Exactly! As they used to say, “Like it or lump it. “ However #7 is a “tad” subjective. 😉
It turns out that a lot of your You-Opinions are also my opinions. Thanks for airing (with less profanity) those opinions!
Hmmm… all definitely a them problem. I’m with you on all of these. The only group in what is now the continental United States that ever declared war on Christmas were the Puritans, and we glorify them at Thanksgiving (wrongly). The Puritans didn’t like a whole hell of a lot, Christmas included and it was banned in their enclaves.
So, it has only been a Christian group that has made war against Christmas, go figure.
Hope your holidays are happy and healthy for you and all of your 2 and 4 foot (finned, etc.) family!
in re: #9. quitting coffee. I have done this. I am now addicted to diet coke for my caffeine fix. I will light candle for you. I will also toss extra cuddly kitties into your room, chocolate, crunchy goldfish snacks, and lock you in! Please get well soon! LOLOL
I currently do not have any other incoming caffeine sources, which is probably a good thing. XD I will bring back white tea and honey once I detox from having SLAMMED myself with a ridiculous amount of sugar and caffeine.
Amen, sister!
As a me problem I love and agree with your unpopular opinions.
You are not wrong.
My cats may not be the best but they are exceptional.
I also have an unhealthy relationship with one-click shopping. Amazon could declare a dividend on my purchases alone.
I love reading along with the chapters you post. I love the world of the royal states. The people in charge are so much more humane than our present Congress.
Happy Holidays!
I am very offended that you have singled out coffee for mostly elimination. What do you have against coffee? It is innocent. Poor coffee. It only is trying to make you happy and give you tasty goodness. I also take offense that you like cats. Because they messaged me privately and said they were not happy you did not use the word worship, as in “I worship my cats”. I/we take offense to that. Also, I am offended you did not put a trigger warning that this blog would talk about bloggish things plus use the word triggers. It is triggering me so much right now. How dare you blog about bloggish things? How dare you type t r i g g e r s. 8 letter words with two g’s in the middle offend me. It is totally not my fault I clicked on the subscribe button and agreed to the delivery of the posts to my email box. It is your responsibility to know the ins and outs of everyone’s brains and all of their triggers, simultaneously, as soon as they click subscribe. Not to mention buy one of your books. It is your responsibility to own up to your author godlike power to foresee everyone ever who will buy your book and make sure to balance out all of the wrinkles so they don’t get an owie. PS my dog is telling me she is offended that I am reading anything with the word “cat” in it. That’s your fault too.
lolololololololololololololol
AMEN!!!!
I so agree with you. Well, apart from coffee denial – why???? Well, apart from weather considerations, but then a flask? 🙂
I add way too much sugar and cream to it, which makes it pretty bad for my health. The caffeine isn’t great for me either…
… but I might just sacrifice something else and keep it because it’s fucking COLD out, and the sugar, cream, and coffee make me happy. XD
Just budget it into your daily calories. You have some wiggle room, so it is an option. Denying yourself pleasure will only add resentment, especially if it is a little pleasure.
No, it’s really WAY too many calories. (like… 500 empty calories.)
My coffee nearly requires a construction permit. I start with a scoop of turbinado sugar, a scoop of powdered “Superfood” creamer (some coconut based thing from Costco), and a squirt each of chocolate and caramel syrup. Oh, and I add cinnamon and vanilla extract to my grounds.
I’d add whipped cream but one must draw the line SOMEWHERE.
I’m still in the learning process of the ‘you’ and ‘me’ problem. Here it’s called ‘my side of the street’ or yours/others. The upside when you come across a trigger is that it can help you to recognize a piece of the puzzle that’s you. If it has a too big impact on you, but you like the book, go past that part and continue. Realize that issue as something you can deal with later, just remember. At the moment I can’t read any thrillers, because of my anxiety-level, so I leave them be for now. On the upside, in a lot of the books I read (mostly Fantasy at the moment), you can find a sentice or two that has special meaning just for you, like a small golden nugget. For example, if no problem for R.J. Blaine, in ‘Old Secrets, p.60′: and when you’re a child, and everything has been turned upside down on you, not having a safe heaven is terrifying’. It cán be a trigger, depending on your process, but also a aspect to recognize that part of your being that has been hurt and is starting to heal.
Another point: nowadays everybody declares his or her opinion on social media on everything they can think off and feel insulted if you don’t agree in any way. The best way to stop this? Don’t react in any way. Like RJ said, people will nót and never change the way someone else wants, so remove yourself from that toxic environment. If you háve something to say, be kind and show respect, that’s all.
Happy holidays to you and your husband. As far as trigger warnings, no author can anticipate what will set someone off. What might be a trigger for one won’t be for another and so if I’m reading a book and something triggers me, I do exactly as you said. I close the book and refuse to go back to it. It’s a me problem and I’m not going to chastise the author for their writing something that I don’t like. I don’t like everyone and everyone doesn’t like me and I can live with that. I’m not so desperate for friends that I’m going to change how I am to please them because then I will not be me. Good luck on the coffee thing. I, personally, do not drink coffee at home so it’s definitely an outside thing but I need my coffee outside (work). I couldn’t give it up.
My new personal favorite for the holidays is “Heathens Greetings” I want to craft it up on a huge canvas and watch the crazy ensue.🤣😈🤣😈
Happy Holidays to you and your husband. Rest, relax and enjoy your family. That is what I am going to do. Also I am saving Whisker on Kittens for that time to read.
I absolutely agree with you. If someone wishes me Happy Hanukkah or Happy Kwanza, I take it in the spirit it is meant. If I say Merry Christmas, take it in the spirit it is meant. All of this Political Correctness just adds more divisiveness to the world. Personally, I do not care if someone gets offended. Everyone has their own issues. they do not need someone else telling them how they should feel, think or celebrate.
Yep, the so-called “war on Christmas” is absolutely silly.
I wholeheartedly agree.
I could care less what/which ethnic/religious/national good wish is offered up to me. I take all blessings where I can get them. It is necessary with that whole “I am not necessarily a socially correct person all of the time” issue.
I disagree with #7. ALL kitties are the best kitties.
👍
Literally the only people who I’ve seen complain about the war on Xmas are the talking heads on Faux News and that ilk. Not one actual PERSON has ever chided me for saying “happy holidays” or “season’s greetings.”
It has happened to me more than a few times.